Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?!

Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! – When Jeremy Shepherd and his daughter, Lauren, arrive at her new school, he is believed to be a new ‘super teacher’ and is soon unwillingly roped into the schemes of daft teaching assistant, Mr Poppy. But when trying to remove the school’s donkey he is kicked in the head and gets amnesia. With Jeremy’s wedding day only a few days away, Poppy, Lauren and the rest of her class face a race against time to restore his memory as well as compete in and win a flashmob competition.

Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! (2014) – Director: Debbie Isitt

Rating: U

Running Length: 109 mins

Starring: Martin Clunes, Marc Wootton, Adam Garcia

Genre: Comedy, Musical

REVIEW: ‘NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY?!’

There are two questions we asked ourselves during our first and hopefully only ever viewing of ‘Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?!’. Why was it made? And why is it so long? The answers to both are ‘who knows?’

If you’re wondering why the above synopsis doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, it’s because this third outing for no-redeeming-features man-child, Mr Poppy and his bizarre, all ages class of plot-convenient school children struggles badly with a lack of plot. We can only presume that the words ‘man gets amnesia’ and ‘New York’ were written on a post-it note and everything else was left to chance.

Martin Clunes does his best as Jeremy Shepherd, the ‘straight man’ to Poppy’s borderline imbecile but his actual acting ability makes him appear to have wandered onto the wrong film set as he walks around bewildered by the mayhem. Adam Garcia does shine as the hilariously arrogant Bradley Finch, Jeremy’s unlikely love rival and Catherine Tate is a reliably nice character as the woman caught up in the love triangle. Unfortunately, these three actual actors do not have enough screen time to excuse the awfulness of everything else, especially the terrible, forgettable songs which someone seems to have convinced themselves will one day provide a Christmas classic and therefore are spattered throughout the movie with reckless abandon.

To sum up, ‘Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s my Donkey?!’ is just terrible. For your own sake, please give it a miss!

CONTENT: IS ‘NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY?!’ FOR KIDS?

Mr Poppy puts his hand on Archie the donkey’s mouth, moving it to make it look like he is talking. We mention this in case putting hands near animals mouths and bothering animals in such a way is imitable.

When trying to push the donkey onto a trailer, Jeremy is kicked in the forehead and knocked out cold. When he awakes, he has amnesia and can’t even remember his daughter, Lauren. She becomes frustrated and angry, shouting at him at telling him that he is on Santa’s naughty list because he can’t remember Christmas, she also blames him for ruining her Christmas wish. Lauren continues this behaviour for much of the movie and her reaction to his condition which isn’t his fault could be confusing and upsetting for those who may have family members who have similar afflictions like dementia, Alzheimer’s, mental disabilities, etc.

Jeremy is taken onto a river on a small boat and pushed into the water in an attempt to restore his memories.

When another group wins the flashmob competition fairly, Mr Poppy and the class steal their tickets and passports so they can go to New York where Jeremy’s fiancée is instead.

Jeremy tells a woman that it would be best if she and another man raise his daughter because he can’t remember who she is and can’t be responsible for her.

Lauren becomes very upset with her father as she feels he doesn’t want to remember ‘mum dying and all those sad things’.

CAN I SEE A CLIP?

VERDICT: IS ‘NATIVITY 3: DUDE, WHERE’S MY DONKEY?!’ FOR KIDS?

‘Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey’ is a movie that should never have been made. There are frequent fart jokes which young kids will probably find very funny, otherwise the content is appropriate for all ages.

• Violence: 0/5
• Emotional Distress: 1/5 (Lauren’s anger and frustration at her father’s inability to remember anything may be upsetting for some kids)
• Fear Factor: 0/5
• Sexual Content: 0/5 (there is a very chaste love triangle between two men and a woman. There is some kissing and affection but nothing close to sexual is seen or implied)
• Bad Language: 1/5 (lots of fart jokes and childish insults)
• Dialogue: 1/5 (a character sees a woman and exclaims ‘you didn’t tell me she was a ginger!’ referring to her hair colour in a mildly derogatory way)
• Other Notes: Deals with themes of amnesia, competitiveness, cheating, love and Christmas wishes and miracles.

Words by Laura Record

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